Lower your Nets Week 5

I have made mention in the last 4 weeks,how I would like to give back to at risk young women, since I used to be one.  Some day I may get an opportunity to do just that.  What I have been discovering through this study, is that God wants me to make a difference right where I am.  I have also mentioned that I am a supervisor working for a state court in Southern Ca, where there is a distinct seperaration between church and state.  I am finding that I can still share my faith, it just needs to be done by way of my attitude and behavior.  I have had many opportunities to share with different individauls at work about this Bible Study, and how it has really made a difference in my life.  I find that I can say yes to God right where I am.  I have been on Dave Ramsey’s fianancial plan for several years now, I mention that because I hope to retire from the courts in 6 years, having paid off my mortgage and student loans.  If the Lord wants to use me right where I am for the time I have remaining, than I must be obedient to help my co workers with their attitude and behavior.

The Lord is good, all the time, all the time, the Lord is good.  We tend to forget that when life is not going according to our plan.  Through this study, I have come  to realize again, it is not my plan, but his plan for my life.

Pam

Week 3 Wholly Committed

I turned my life over to the Lord on May 7, 1992.  However as I began my journey, i realized, that i have to figure things out myself.  My dad used to say I do not listen, and my husband has been telling me the same thing for the last 18 years.  It is not that I don’t listen, I just have a need to figure things our for myself.  The Lord has allowed me to make my own decisions since I left home 34 years ago, sadly I have made some really poor decisions.  On June 16, 2009, when my brother called me to say that our Father had a stroke, it took 45 minutes for me to decide if I was going to make the 2 1/2 hour drive to see him.  I had become so devoted to work, I  did not think that I would be able to do both.  As I have shared previously, this was a very pivotable moment in my life.  My life as I had known it would never be the same.  I knew that I had to honor the ten commandments to honor my Father, I just did not want to do it.  As I had in the past, I tried to do this on my own steam, it was very hard, and because of being so tired, I made some  poor decisions at work. Nothing huge, just lapses in judgment.  In July 2010, I finally realized that I needed to surrender this challenge completely to the Lord. My husband was not very supportive during this time, I had a full time job as a supervisor, and my daughter was in her first year of high school.  It took a while, for me to really trust that the Lord would not let me down.  People have let me down my entire life, so I had huge trust issues.  My circumstances at work, and with my Dad, did not change, what I have found however, is that God needed for me to change.

Finding Proverbs 31 ministries has taken me down a deeper road, made me realize that to overcome my work situations, marriage situations and life in general, I needed to become wholly comitted.  I really look forward to reading my daily devotional, from Probverbs 31, I am on my second OBS, I get so much from the connection calls, and I see myself changing.  Lisa TerKerkeurst, Melissa Taylor and Renee Swope in particular have made a real impact on my life.  Their humor and declarations that we can be who God really made us to be, not some version of ourselves that we think would be better, has been very refreshing for me.

I have spent my entire adult life trying to conform to what the people around me want me to be, I now have the freedom to just be me.

I thought being wholly comitted would interfere with my plans that I had for myself, I had no idea, it would make me the best me.

As God chose Lisa to develop Melissa, God is using this ministry to develop me.

Thank You

Pam

Week 2 blog hop radical obedience

I can say with my whole heart that God has really convicted me on many things in the last 21 years that I once thought were acceptable in terms of the books I read and the TV shows that I watched.  I know God is still doing a work in the subtle things.  I still enjoy reading a author who writes really good books, but does throw the occasional bad word that I know I should not be reading.  In my defense, I read these book on very  few occastions now, however I have not completely erased them from my life.  If I were to go through the 5 question filter, than I know I need to completely give them up.  her last book, I downloaded to kindle and bought the hard copy, and have yet to read it.  I think I am pretty close, to not buying them at all.

I made a decision when my daughter was young, that I would not rent any movies that were rated R.  It was tough for a time because there were movies out that colleages at work were watching and I felt I was missing out.  My daughter is now 17, and has been exposed to many undesireable things at school, and yet I beleive I should stick to my PG13 decision.

The thought of readical obedience used to cause my rebellious nature to come out, but the more I have seen evidence of Gods great love for me for me, the more I have realized it is the least I can do for him.  Living a more holy life now does not cause me to feel that I am missing out on things, as it used to.  Living a more holy and obedient life now causes me contentment and peace.

Pam

With all my heart.

Father’s Day

I lost my Dad on February 3rd 2012.  This is my 2nd Father’s Day without him.  I have had a year to do much soul searching about my life and the role that my Dad played in it.  We never had an easy relationship, but I always knew he was there, no matter what.  I have had a sense of loss this year without him. I hope this next year will have more joy in it than the last 5 years.  I have become so used with dealing with life that I have forgotten how to really enjoy living.  I heard a song today by Matthew West that fits, “Going through the Motions” we become used to our lives that we find that we are just going through the motions of living.  My prayer is that God will show me through word and song, to not go through the motions anymore, but to really embrace and enjoy life.

 

Pam