week 3 Wholly Committed

I turned my life over to the Lord on May 7, 1992.  However as I began my journey, i realized, that i have to figure things out myself.  My dad used to say I do not listen, and my husband has been telling me the same thing for the last 18 years.  It is not that I don’t listen, I just have a need to figure things our for myself.  The Lord has allowed me to make my own decisions since I left home 34 years ago, sadly I have made some really poor decisions.  On June 16, 2009, when my brother called me to say that our Father had a stroke, it took 45 minutes for me to decide if I was going to make the 2 1/2 hour drive to see him.  I had become so devoted to work, I  did not think that I would be able to do both.  As I have shared previously, this was a very pivotable moment in my life.  My life as I had known it would never be the same.  I knew that I had to honor the ten commandments to honor my Father, I just did not want to do it.  As I had in the past, I tried to do this on my own steam, it was very hard, and because of being so tired, I made some  poor decisions at work. Nothing huge, just lapses in judgment.  In July 2010, I finally realized that I needed to surrender this challenge completely to the Lord. My husband was not very supportive during this time, I had a full time job as a supervisor, and my daughter was in her first year of high school.  It took a while, for me to really trust that the Lord would not let me down.  People have let me down my entire life, so I had huge trust issues.  My circumstances at work, and with my Dad, did not change, what I have found however, is that God needed for me to change.

Finding Proverbs 31 ministries has taken me down a deeper road, made me realize that to overcome my work situations, marriage situations and life in general, I needed to become wholly comitted.  I really look forward to reading my daily devotional, from Probverbs 31, I am on my second OBS, I get so much from the connection calls, and I see myself changing.  Lisa TerKerkeurst, Melissa Taylor and Renee Swope in particular have made a real impact on my life.  Their humor and declarations that we can be who God really made us to be, not some version of ourselves that we think would be better, has been very refreshing for me.

I have spent my entire adult life trying to conform to what the people around me want me to be, I now have the freedom to just be me.

I thought being wholly comitted would interfere with my plans that I had for myself, I had no idea, it would make me the best me.

As God chose Lisa to develop Melissa, God is using this ministry to develop me.

Thank You

Pam

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